What is Love?

 Love.....what a concept really. It comes in so many forms

I am not a fan of many so called Holidays like Valentines Day.  Sure it is very good for commerce and I know for many it is a big deal. I guess I am a spoil sport.  I prefer the term realist.

Why you ask? Because concepts like this inflict emotional damage unintentionally.  For example: what if you are expecting a diamond engagement ring and end up with a box of chocolates?  Or you have a dream date dancing in your head and he doesn't call.  Or your relationship is on the rocks and the last thing you wish to do is spend a miserable evening around tons of lovebirds swooning over each other.  Perhaps your perfect mate dumped you recently and this evening will be spent alone with a gallon of ice cream.  I am sure you could add to the list.

But what is love and how do you know if you found it for yourself?  Trial and error worked for me since I am a slow learner.  I have experienced love, loss of love and much love in many forms over the years.  If you have read our book "Tripping Over Enlightenment" you know from what I speak.

I think the real reason a relationship fails is because of unrealistic expectations and the crazy notion someone else is to make you happy.  Sorry but that is your job.  All that happily ever after stuff is a fairytale.  Ideas like this make us emotionally dependent in an unhealthy fashion.  It keeps us frozen in relationships which no longer work.  We end up staying in environments which we dislike out of fear and lack of trust in self to make changes.  It hold us and our partner from finding something which is sincere and honest.
 
One of the saddest questions I hear from clients is are they going to outlive their spouse so they can have a few good, free years ahead?   WHAT?  Why would anyone ask that!  Because they have sold out on some level be it financial, religious ideals, co-dependency or fear of being alone.  Never put yourself or anyone you supposedly love in such a position.  If you or your partner harbor ill and unable to forgive transgressions any relationship will be difficult to maintain. If you or your partner fail to re-commit love then love will never return in kind.  When looking at each other all you see is pain and damages it is time to reevaluate. If you no longer can nurture each other then move on. If you fail to release each other from a loveless, damaging situation each of you will stay locked in misery.

A healthy relationship nurtures independence, promotes personal and spiritual growth and loving support even when it is the last thing you wish to do.  A health relationship takes work, each and every day.  A healthy relationship means having the ability to look away from the things we find so annoying.  A healthy relationship can see you both walking together years and years from now. It allows one to blossom.  It means you stick it out during hard difficult times. Love unconditionally means exactly that.  

Most importantly relationships require a commitment to make them work from both partners.

Otherwise the joint commitment has already ended and should be put to rest. 

If Truth Offends You...Read No Further!

This week angels have been very busy escorting home souls of twenty beautiful little children and  brave teachers, delivering them directly into the arms of God...of that I am certain.

But that doesn't ease the human pain left behind.  Having lost a child and parent I know nothing does that but time and personal resolution.

However....let's turn our focus on the issues presented before us as the "solutions" to this problem.

Like gun control. I own one myself as do many people I know. Now I think we need reasonable laws regarding gun ownership and responsibility but that won't resolve the problem we are, and will continue to experience.

School security....sure we need to have safety in place but there again, it can't stop violence. In fact this works opposite of the desired outcome by instilling a sense that we should always be afraid.

Ban video games....well, one must admit our society has become one of violence.  Surely we can do something to change how our children "play". However more laws won't change things.

Blame it on mental illness. Sure we could lock up and/or medicate those identified as mentally ill instead of throwing them to the wolves as we have the past several decades.  Except illness isn't  so easily identified nor dealt with.

Blame anyone available.  Terrorists for example. Poor parenting, cults even.

But  here is the raw truth.....

each and every one of us 

is the problem.... and the solution.

Here is some of the evidence:

Since 2007 
13,471 civilians, have been killed in the Afghanistan war.  As of 2009 39% have been identified as children.

Since 2006
124 Isrealie and 1452 Palestinian children have died in their fighting each other.

Since 1998
Because of the conflict in the Congo...2.7 million of the dead have been children. 

Since the beginning of the Iraq conflict

Published on Friday, July 21, 2000 at 1:23 PM ET by Reuters

UN Says Sanctions Have Killed Some 500,000 Iraqi Children, And due to the war itself .... of the 4,040 civilian victims of US-led coalition forces for whom age data was available, 1,201 (29%) were children.

2011
Seven children died during 911 attack.

The we have Columbine, Oklahoma, Aurora,

And I could go on and on listing deaths of children, then list the many women and children whom have been raped and tortured, on to the helpless elderly and handicapped disposed of....the many, many left without fathers and mothers....all in the name of something or other deemed necessary and important for various reasons.

SOOO....what is the real issue?

A serious disconnect from our spiritual self. 

• The only way we are going to make changes in the psyche of individuals is to start within ourselves.  
• We must understand violence is never the answer.  
• Obtain compassion for all living beings. 
• Teach respect of others.
• Share resources with the rest of the planet.
• Evolve our families into spiritual beings connected with all.
• Change the thinking of this planet, one person at a time if necessary.
• Vote against ideas and concepts which promote violence, selfishness, hate or discrimination.
• Open our hearts to love.
• Teach and demonstrate healthy mindsets by promoting freewill responsibility.
• Change as a individual, family, state, nation, and planet how we think, act and respond.
• Learn to live fearlessly for fear IS the true enemy. Negativity is the force which can destroy everything we cherish.
• Religions must unite instead of separate...God has space for all.   
• Celebrate our differences and share our experiences.
• Forgive....everything and everyone without question.

I am sure many of you can add to this list of ideas to change the outcome of this planet and I welcome all positive suggestions.  

Only by staying in the light and communicating with spiritual self will these issues be resolved.  

More laws, rules, hate and anger only promote the same.  

Currently we need something completely opposite this to keep our children safe.

The future of humanity itself depends upon each and everyone of us standing tall and creating the world we wish to live in.

Become the change!

Thoughts

How do you find joy?
How do you find peace?
How do you find health?
How do you find happiness?
How do you find yourself?
How do you find faith?


The ultimate guide to everything……

By loving all those you meet along the way
By accepting and even embracing your flaws and failures
By looking in the mirror and facing yourself honestly
By understanding there is an all perfect, all knowing, all loving being residing within
By always being your authentic self, regardless of the situation
By connecting and listening to your eternally existing spiritual self

Change For A Dollar

Before you go rushing about completing you holiday tasks please take a minute to watch this short film. The true meaning of Christmas is beautifully represented in the video. It also reminds us that even what we tend to see as the least among us can shine the brightest light and make a difference. Let your compassionate heart be a guiding force this season of sharing.

Million Moms Challenge - ABC News

Million Moms Challenge - ABC News


Each of us can make a difference in this world.

You always remember!

I haven't posted in a long while simply because nothing seemed important enough to share......until now.

Please enjoy the moving short video below.

Words to Live By

A Gentle Reminder of Our Power!

Life, I Couldn't Say It Better

Sometimes others have the words you thought about but either didn't know how to share or were to lazy to do so. His words are such as these.The Joys Of Parenting.

Ok, Look at the Trees---But Don't Forget About the Forest.

Take time this weekend to enjoy a personal relationship with our environment. We are all a part of the whole. It is important for us to remain active participants with the world in which we live. Remember to give thanks. Like you, the world is a living entity; give it the same respect and love.

Something Profound!

Every day I wonder what to write about that anyone would care to read or need to hear. Everyday it would be nice if I could come up with profound information to share.

Unfortunately that doesn't happen and I spend a lot of time thinking something up, hopefully with some redeeming value.

Today was no different. So I choose to share the following:

You are an all knowing,

all loving,

all perfect being!

Hurt damaged people....

create hurt, damaged people!

Loving spiritual beings.....cause no harm!

Live a loving life.

Passion...It Can Be Contagious!

This man brings tears to your eyes with his passion for freedom and our country.



It is very moving to see the impact his voice had on the crowd. He brought them to their feet and you could sense the change in energy.

We are such powerful beings! Frequently we forget that. Think about how your actions effect those around you.

For My Mother!

Motherhood is the most difficult task any woman can take on. The hours are endless, worries compound over the years, at times it feels thankless and you always wonder if you are doing enough.



But a single smile erases you fears. Every first a child achieves provides a glow in you heart, knowing you are there supporting their goals. Seeing them grow into a secure and loving individual with enthusiasm for life provides all proof necessary you have done your best.



Happy Mother's Day Mom, and to all women out there doing what they can to nurture the tiny souls sent to them. Although some days will seem difficult, soon enough your birds will fly from the nest, enjoy each moment!

Both of my daughters have gone on to have amazing families of their own. I am very proud of them. Actually, if I am honest about it, I think they are better at the job than I was.

My advise is simple: take what you mother did right and improve upon it, take what she did wrong and change it for the better. Most of all....love them unconditionally.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Grandmother Remaley told me a little poem about love, which I share with you today.

Love is such a funny thing.

It's something like a lizard.

It wraps it's tail around your heart,

and nibbles at your gizzard.

I'm not sure I get it, but it always made her smile. Perhaps it refers to being "love sick", you know that squirmy feeling you get when that special person walks into the room.

While today is about love, remember we need to receive that fix far more often than once a year. Never pass up an opportunity to tell others you love them. More importantly, show them by your words, actions and deeds.

Inspiring WORDS + Odds and Ends: You can if you think you can....

My dear friend Frederick, posted this yesterday on his blog. It is truly astounding. Please take time to view it and count your blessings.

This touches on all the things I write about, courage, optimism, gratitude, and living a positive life.

Sometimes it takes a clear example of those attributes to really understand them. This gentleman shows such inspiration and faith, with a great dose of humor..... he holds you in fascination.


Inspiring WORDS + Odds and Ends: You can if you think you can....

Gratitude.....Appreciate Your Life...Family....Friends.....Love Unconditionally.....Allow Joy To Manifest.

Accept life with loving gratitude. No matter the challenges we face they are easier to bear if we remember to be thankful for all we have been given.  Keep your energy moving in a positive direction.

When all else fails......simply dance! 
It's "Positively" contagious!

Sunday .... A Good Day To Forgive!

One of the biggest issues I find holding us back from being who we want to be, is a lack of forgiveness.

At times we hang on to pain and memories like an old dog with his bone. We use these emotional injuries as justification to create more pain, within ourselves and for others.

Sometimes we want them to suffer, by seeing how tortured they have made us. We even go so far as to use our unforgiving wrath, as a form of manipulation over them.  There are even those who proudly wear their pain like a badge of courage.

Years pass and still we hang on to those memories as an excuse for this or that, hiding from responsibility of self.

Forgiveness means forgiving yourself as well. Perhaps we are scared to forgive ourselves because it would require a change in mindset, place us in a different direction. It definitely puts responsibility back on us, forcing that old free will thing directly upon our shoulders.

Frequently, fear is the wall keeping us from letting go of our anguish. Fear of what life might be like as a free spirit, no longer grounded by our perceived injustices.

Denying forgiveness to others or self....is a like a cancer upon the soul.

So today, I ask you to please watch the following video, open up to the possibility of releasing any person or thing holding you back from internal peace and joy.

I'll Just Take A Minute Of Your Time Today!

It is a cold Saturday morning here. Upon waking you realize it is one of those special moments, when you would like to pull the covers up and languish in bed for just a minute longer. Your mind smiles at the thought, relaxed and free.

It is surprising what your mind can find to entertain itself when left alone for even such a short time. Mine tends to visualize all types of things.

But today....ponder this: If all the time you had left was this single minute...where would your mind take you?

Open your heart now....realistically....every minute has the potential to be our last.